No Trophy for Winning an Argument

I like being right. It feels good to know that my mental model of my surroundings are sound and functional. And I love to share. If I have something good, and it costs me little to give it to you, I want to. It’s when those two traits merge that inevitably, one of my beliefs collide with those of other people.

It’s easy to think that if I keep saying what I think, others will believe it. But that frame of mind of trying to persuade others is the wrong default. Instead of talking, I should be listening and understanding their point of view. If I’m an agent of my beliefs, then persuasion is a tactic to dominate others. Such egotistic desire is neither effective nor useful.

The alternative frame of mind is to expand my beliefs to include the encapsulation of their beliefs. In other words, believing that they believe vs. believing what they believe. This translates to an advantage; I gain information, thru to freely making decisions based on a more holistic view – not just on my formerly limited one.