Self identity

Becoming a better person requires that you have a general idea of the kind of person want to become. There is more than one definition of self, such as the belief that your mind exists separately from your body. Even people who are not religious believe in the duality of the body and soul. This belief has a huge impact on the way we perceive, and therefore act, on ourselves. In order to discover our own future, we must first ask the question: Who are we?

Who am I? I’m a Korean-born Canadian guy with a bachelor’s degree in business working as an iPhone developer in Vancouver. I follow Christ. My main hobbies are crafting, weight lifting, cooking and reading. I am single and casually looking. That description is a flattened version of myself in words.

But I was not who I described myself to be at birth. I was born with nothing. I didn’t know anything and couldn’t do anything other than breathe. The only way that we came to be who we are is through the actions we decide and the moments we perceive. And just as the way we came to be, the only way thwe are are giong to be who we will be in the future is also through the actions we decide and the moments we perceive. We are the results of our actions and perceptions. By understanding how we came to be, we can influence what we will become.

If I had never encountered another Christian in my life, I would have never become one. Whether it was the sunday school teacher or my parents, something happened to turn me into a Christ follower. Something outside of me changed who I am.

What I’m trying to say is that much of our identity is formed through nurture, not nature. And unlike trees, we have feet. We can move around to change our immediate environment. And unlike cows, we have opposable thumbs. We can make change to our environment. So if we can change our environment, and the environment can change us, we can change ourselves. Eureka!

Self improvement is more about improving our environment than it is about improving the way we think and feel internally. What we think about is very much affected by stimuli. Beating oneself up for having bad thoughts is equivalent to wiping off sweat on a hot summer day; no matter how much you wipe off your sweat, being in the sun will draw more. In order to have good thoughts, you need to be in a good environment.

This is why I have photos of nature and animals around my home. I listen to lyric-free ambient music to pace my thoughts. I am careful to surround myself with positive growing people.

What defines me as an individual is often a distinction apart from other people around me. It is not as useful to describe myself as a human being, even though that’s more than 99% of who I am relative to everything else. To think of myself as being other than what I described is hard to imagine.

Who I am means to me

your identity beyond the fact that you are a human looking at a bright screen this moment what shows you watch what music you listen to what books you read who your friends are your ethnicity your hobbies your work “what do you do” & “what do you like to do during your spare time” your personality and character

who you are now at this moment is a result of a series of choices and the stimulus that those choices resulted in.

By changing your choices/action or improving upon them changing your life for the better self improvement does not have to mean super improvement it can mean micro improvement aka kaizen really that is all we can do, to change small things one at a time even the great pyramid of china (lol jk) was built one stone at a time

becoming a better person will reduce chances for depression to happen feel happier every day be more content with what you have improve outlook on life

i am not yet the best person that i can be

self identity define future state contrast to current state

a clear problem to be solved

current list of solutions

a positive spiral upwards

If you are reading this, then you are incredibly fortunate. You have the privilege of having a screen in front of you or in your hands. That means you have access to the Internet and not have to worry about food, clothes or shelter for the most of the time you’re awake. You were given the education to be able to read symbols called alphabet letters and a sequence of letters called words. You did not know it at birth, but as time passed, others around you exposed you to the knowledge and skills. And somehow you are using these ideas to make your life and the lives of those around you, better. You were born with nothing, yet you are now an intelligent empathetic being. How did you come to be? Who will you become?

We came to be who we are due to our inputs and outputs. We have sensory experiences that imprint our identity and we have agency to dictate what those sensory experiences will be. Humans are a unique species capable of self-awareness and the ability to manipulate our environment. We choose what we experience, and in turn, those experiences affect who we are, which affects how we choose our experiences. What we are exposed to really shapes our identity. This insight exposes us to a three-sided question: what kind of person do I choose to experience myself into?

A traditional approach to becoming someone that you aren’t yet is to look at the finish line and keep running. Say I want to become the CEO of a fortune 500 company. Then I would need management experience at the executive level. In order to get the experience, I will need to be an executive for some time. To become an executive, I will need at least an MBA. And to get an MBA, I will need good grades in my bachelor’s degree. This approach works if you are certain that you want to pursue management practice. However, most of us don’t know what we want to become. Moreover, it assumes that the destination is more important than the journey. It promises happiness once the desired state has been achieved.

But it is better to travel than to arrive. Instead of looking one thing in life, and being happy after the achievement, why not be happy throughout life? Instead of setting a destination and looking for a way to get there, why not set a direction and discover the everyday destinations along the way? It’s not hard to imagine.

The way to start having an attitude of every day is happy day. First recognize that life is a series of moments. Each moment is ephemeral and some are beautiful. The first sip of a beverage on a thirsty hot day; when the sun farewells into the horizon; the top of a rollercoaster; a double take from a cutie at a cafe. A large balance in the bank nor respect from others can never directly affect the beautiful moments in life.

When the problem is as simple as have more happy moments, the solution is equally as simple. Choose experiences that bring more moments to you as long as they do not affect the future negatively. Surround yourself with things and people that bring delight. Notice how the trees grow and how the water meets the earth.

To live is to do. As long as you do the things that makes you happy, you will see yourself becoming more of who you are.


It’s easiest to look to celebrities and other public figures for inspiration.

If others look up to these people, then so should I! If fame brings respect, then I should be famous too! If having more money means I get to have more things and go to new places, then I should have more money too!

It’s equally easy to conform to the expectations of our relatives.

Be a doctor, lawyer or accountant! Those are the safest jobs! You can do anything you want, as long as you make more than $100,000 a year in salary! Get a degree, get a job, and your career will be set!

Sometimes we get generic advice from successful people.

Work hard and you will make it! Never give up! Follow your passion! That’s what I did! Be a risk taker! Don’t do drugs, and don’t hang out with bad people!


Or as if life was a video game, some people consider the numbers in their lives to be some kind of a high score. Their personal assets in their bank account. The number of friends that ask them out every weekend. The weight they bench. Instagram followers.

It’s especially easy to forget that what is essential is invisible to the eye. What makes us most happy is immeasurable. Who we want to be, or what we want to experience, or what we do every day, are hard to visualize. It’s frustrating to try to decide where we want to be in the future, without measure.

So how do we decide what we want to do? If the future is uncertain, and we are uncertain of ourselves, then can we do anything about it? Yes.

I used to ask sometimes, to people I meet, about what makes them happy.

What makes you happy? Simple question, but most of the time, they have not been asked that question before. One of the most genuine reponses that I got was Ice Cream! This was in contrast to a


actionalbe steps towards becoming a better person

if you know where you are goig you do backwards induction

but if you don’t know do you do nothing